beet orange carrot ginger


beet orange carrot and ginger juice.

happy halloween!
because it's halloween, i give you blood juice.

really beautiful zappy tasty blood.



Beet Orange Carrot Ginger Juice

1 beet
2 oranges
2 carrots
1 small knob of ginger

juice! consume!

pumpkin layer cake


there are layer cakes to discuss.

there absolutely does not need to be a celebration going on for this cake to Go on.

the celebration is autumn. the time of year i fiend for at all times.

orange against glowing cranberry against speckled white, it's quite good looking.
if it was a boy..so handsome.
hunky even, as my mother would say. like a good looking, scruffy mountain man type wearing some kind of plaid and holding a shovel.


classic pumpkin cakes tend to be similar in their genetic makeup. 
oil. eggs. pumpkin puree. spices. 

sometimes pecans. sometimes cranberries. sometimes maple or chocolate.  
always cream cheese frosting. 

you certainly know about how good pumpkin and cream cheese are together so i won't go on blabbering about it. (MOIST.)




so let's do this, AUTUMN 2013. the coziness is ON. 
get all up in some crunchy leaves and do your damn thing. 
if you live in la where there are no crunchy leaves in sight (booooo, c'mon.), just go outside and dance around a little. in the night so no one will watch you.



pumpkin, so hot right now.
pumpkin pancakes | pumpkin butter coffee cake | pumpkin black and whites
vegany pumpkin pecan bread | and pumpkin ghost cupcakes! for NOW!



Pumpkin Layer Cake
adapted from this recipe

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
4 large eggs
2 cups pumpkin puree
cranberries. some or many

 preheat oven to 350 degreesF. grease two 9 inch round cake pans, line the bottoms with parchment circles and grease the parchment. combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, spices, and salt. sift or whisk well. in another large bowl, combine sugar, oil, vanilla and eggs. whisk to combine. dump the dry mix into the sugar mixture and combine, then stir in the pumpkin. fold in the cranberries if using (or just scatter them over the top of the batter in the cake pans and press in a bit). divide batter evenly in the cake pans. bake for 35-40 minutes, until a tester comes out just clean. 

 Cream Cheese Frosting

 *i like a less sweet cream cheese frosting. add more sugar if you want.

 16 oz cream cheese, softened
8 oz (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
2 1/2 - 3 cups confectioners' sugar
1/4-1/2 vanilla bean, seeds scraped OR a splash of vanilla

 beat cream cheese and butter in an electric mixer fitted with paddle attachment until its all fluffy and creamed. add the sugar and vanilla bean seeds or extract. beat, scrape down the bowl, beat more. 

raisin challah





challah is Tasty.
challah is pretty dang easy.
challah is pretty dang gratifying.
it is shiny and soft and faintly sweet.

oh sweet challah, be mine forever and always.
cuddle up next to me, you beautiful braidy boule, and spoon me all night.

butter and honey, you guys are coming too.




Raisin Challah
adapted from this recipe

1 1/2 packages active dry yeast (1 1/2 tbsp)
1 tbsp plus 1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup olive oil, plus more for greasing the bowl
5 large eggs
1 tbsp salt
8 to 8 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup golden raisins
poppy seeds


in a large bowl, dissolve yeast and 1 tbsp sugar in 1 3/4 cups lukewarm water. 
whisk oil into the yeast, then beat in 4 eggs, one at a time, with remaining sugar and salt. gradually add flour. when the dough holds together, it's ready for kneading. 
turn dough onto a floured surface and knead until smooth. clean out the big bowl and grease it, then return the dough to the bowl. cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place for 1 hour, until almost doubled in size. you can warm your oven to 150 and then turn it off, and let the dough rise in there. 
after doubled, punch down dough, cover and let rise again in a warm place for another half-hour. 

at this point, you can start braiding the dough. it will make 2 larger loaves or 3 smaller ones. i simply divide each ball of dough into 3 equal pieces, roll each one out, pinch the ends together and braid. to make a round challah, just twist into a circle, pinching the ends together. make two or three loaves. place the braided loaves onto greased cookie sheets, with at least 2 inches in between them. 
beat remaining egg and brush it on loaves. at this point, you can either freeze breads or let rise another hour. if baking immediately, preheat the oven to 375 degreesF and brush loaves with second egg wash. 
bake in the middle of the oven for 30 to 40 minutes, or until golden. cool loaves on a rack. 

white bean arugula salad. salami + basil

what are you eating right now?

White Bean Arugula Salad

*loose measurements, change it up to your liking. don't fret, it's a salad. 

arugula

cannelini or great northern beans

red onion, sliced

salami, sliced

handful of basil, sliced in ribbons

quinoa (optional)

salt pepper

dressing:

juice of a lemon

1 clove garlic, minced

1 tsp dijon mustard

1-2 tsp honey

1-2 tbsp cider vinegar or white wine vinegar

few tbsps of olive oil

salt and pepper, lots

meth cookies





blue meth fragment cookies. i had to.

no, i didn't have anything better to do.

long live mr. white



Sugar Cookies
adapted from sweetapolita

3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/8 tsp lemon extract

combine the flour and the salt in a bowl and whisk or sift. 
in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugar for a few minutes, until light and fluffy. add the egg and beat well, scraping down the sides. then add the extracts. finally add the flour and salt and beat until combined and dough comes together. 
split dough in half and wrap each in plastic, pressing down into a disc. refrigerate for an hour. 
on a piece of parchment paper or on a lightly floured surface, roll out one disc of dough to about 1/4 inch thickness. slide the parchment onto a cutting board or cookie sheet and place back into the fridge for about 15 minutes.  repeat with the other disc of dough. take the first sheet of dough out and cut into whatever shape you'd like, in this case diamond and triangular meth fragment shapes. place on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper, about 2 inches apart from other cookies or edges. repeat until all the dough has been cut. place each cookie sheet in the freezer for 10-15 minutes. (this will help them keep their shape in the oven) preheat the oven to 350 degreesF. bake for 12-14 minutes, or until edges turn golden. cool sheets on wire racks for 10 minutes, then transfer cookies to wrack to finish cooling. 

frost with royal icing

cupcakes. strawberry preserves. creme fraiche


call me obvious, call me cliche, call me midnight in paris (don't do that)..but i'd like to revert to a different time period.
because really, all this distraction...how am i to be?
the internet equally fogs and blows my mind. netflix. craigslist. instagram. eventually finding myself watching strangers' wedding videos.
how am i to turn into the person i'm supposed to be while i'm tearing up watching strange people's beautiful and kitschy wedding videos!!!!?

i wish to revert back to 90s era maybe. not too far back...not in a time where brussels were boiled and corsets were commonplace.

the 1990s, technology-wise, sound pretty good. my head would be freer. my brain would blossom more as my own. house phones only, with 2 lines. bonus: n'sync.

also in the 90s cupcakes hadn't yet been ruined by cupcake stores.

soft sour cream cupcake, the last of the summer's strawberries stewed into a quick jam,
and a tangy creme fraiche topping that breathes pleasant new life into a cupcake.




Sour Cream + Strawberry Cupcakes
adapted from ming makes cupcakes

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 3/4 cups sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp almond extract
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup sour cream
strawberry preserves (see below)

preheat oven to 350 degreesF. grease 2 muffin tins or line with cupcake papers.  combine flour, baking soda, and salt in a bowl, and whisk to combine. cream the butter and sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer for a few minutes until light and fluffy. reduce speed to low and add the extracts, then the eggs one at a time, beating for a minute after each addition. stir in the sour cream. then add the dry ingredients and mix until just combined. place a spoonful of batter into the bottoms of each cupcake liner. then add a spoonful of preserves in the center. finally top each one off with another dollop of batter, making sure to cover the preserves completely. each liner should be about 2/3 full. bake for 20 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean. let cool on a wire rack. 

Quick Strawberry Preserves
for quick strawberry preserves,  dice up some strawberries, about 1 cup, and throw them in a small saucepan. add some sugar, around 1/4 cup (more or less depending on sweetness of your berries), and a small squeeze of lemon. some vanilla bean is a nice touch too but completely optional. stir to combine and then let them melt over low-medium heat. their juices will release and boil. let cook and bubble over the heat for about 5 minutes, and then cool. 

Creme Fraiche Topping

16 oz creme fraiche
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup confectioners' sugar (or more depending on desired level of sweet)


place all ingredients in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. beat on medium-high speed until thick and peaks form. taste and adjust to your liking. use immediately

lisbon

lisbon notes. 

my most favorite hostel i've ever seen.

Traveller's House

. 

the beanbags and the jazz. the eggs and the bacon in the morning. the wooden bunks and the giant breezy windows. 

2. it was over 105 degrees every day. still without our bags, we had to go buy bathing suits so we could go to the beach like everyone else. bathing suit shopping is so much fun! no. 

we stood out as the two whitest people on the beach. but we only cared about it a little. 

we took a day trip to sintra. sintra is the magical fairy place of your dreams. if anyone finds themselves in portugal, book it to sintra. 

peanut butter puffin cereal milk ice cream

i am so clever that sometimes i don't understand a single word of what i am saying. 

.oscar wilde.

peanut butter puffin cereal milk ice cream.

in a word, this ice cream tastes like: Snacktime.

it's emotionally unstable..

it knows it's too good to be true.

Peanut Butter Puffin Cereal Milk Ice Cream

inspired by and adapted from Momofuku Milk Bar

*notes: this ice cream base recipe is a bit wacky..gelatin and glucose, no eggs, no cream. i made it as written because i was curious to see what it would turn out like. the ice cream itself wasn't icy in the least, but also wasn't heavy and rich like what you get with cream and yolk based ice creams. i'm sure using the puffin cereal milk in a more classic ice cream base would be just as yummy and more approachable ingredient-wise to most. 

1 recipe puffin cereal milk 

1 sheet gelatin

130 g sugar (2/3 cup)

2 g kosher salt (1/2 tsp)

20 g milk powder (1/4 cup)

50 g glucose (2 tbsp)

bloom the gelatin in ice water. 

warm a little bit of the puffin cereal milk and whisk in the gelatin to dissolve. whisk in the remaining cereal milk, the sugar, salt, milk powder, and glucose until everything is fully dissolved and incorporated. 

pour the mixture through a fine mesh sieve into your ice cream machine and freeze according to your manufacturer's instructions. the ice cream is best spun just before serving but will keep in an airtight container in the freezer for up to 2 weeks. 

Peanut Butter Puffin Cereal Milk Ice Cream

100 g peanut butter puffins (2 1/2 cups)

825 g cold milk (3 3/4 cups)

30 g light brown sugar (2 tbsp)

1 g kosher salt (1/4 tsp) 

pour the milk into a bowl or pitcher. add the puffin cereal and mix up. crunch up some of the puffins with your hands. let steep for 30 minutes at room temperature. 

strain the mixture through a fine mesh sieve, collecting the milk in a medium bowl. use your hands to squeeze out the soggy cereal to extract as much puffin flavor as possible. toss the puffin mush. 

whisk the brown sugar and salt into the milk until fully dissolved. store in a clean pitcher or glass. 

scrambled eggs and beer bread


carby complaints:
"i don't want to wait for yeast to activate and proof for hours."
"i don't want to have to drive to the store to get bread."

Beer Bread. it's nearly instant gratification.
every ingredient is pretty much always on hand and it takes 5 minutes to mix up. 1 hour later and i have a tall crusty loaf and a house perfumed with breadiness.

the eggs turn it into a meal, and voila! temporary self-satisfaction.

 carbohydrates, you assholes.



Beer Bread
adapted from here

*this is a savory bread with a sweet beery flavor. don't let the 1/2 cup of sugar deter you. 

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 cup sugar
12 ounces beer
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted

preheat oven to 375 degreesF. grease a loaf pan. in a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar. add the beer and mix well. dump into the loaf pan, and drizzle the melted butter over the top. bake for 55 min-1 hour. 
let cool. 


lemon yogurt muffins

there once was a muffin demon. it was terrible and had poor posture.

but these muffins here are far from demons. they are cheerful and light. they are the friendly kind, easily compatible with butters and jams of all sorts.

Lemon Yogurt Muffins

from the breakfast book by marion cunningham

makes 12 muffins

*tips to make those big top muffins that everyone wants..fill those suckers up to the top with batter. also baking at a higher heat for the first few minutes will make the tops burst up quickly. hooray muffin tops. 

2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/3 cup sugar

2 tbsp honey

2 large eggs

1 tbsp lemon zest (2 lemons)

1 tsp almond extract

1 1/4 cup plain yogurt

4 tbsp (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted

pearl sugar for topping (totally optional)

lemon syrup:

1/3 cup fresh lemon juice

1/3 cup sugar

3 tbsp water

preheat oven to 415 degreesF. combine the dry ingredients in a bowl - flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. in another bowl combine the sugar, honey, eggs, zest, extract, yogurt, and melted butter. whisk until combined well. dump the dry ingredients into the wet and stir until just combined..don't over mix. Don't!

fill muffin tins, either greased or lined with papers, to almost the top. sprinkle with pearl sugar if using. 

bake for 5 minutes at 415 degreesF and then drop the oven down to 350 degreesF and finish baking, about 10 more minutes. 

while those bake, make lemon syrup. combine the lemon juice, sugar, and water in a small saucepan and boil until the sugar dissolves. when the muffins finish baking, poke a few holes in each muffin with a toothpick or fork and brush the lemon syrup all over the tops of each muffin. let cool.

sevilla

notes:

sevilla was on fuego!!!!!!!!!!!

we found

this beauty

of an apartment on airbnb and snatched it up for our 3 days there. '

i lived en sevilla for six months during my 3rd collegiate year. so it was particularly exciting to be back.

we drank fanta. and lots of cava. and encountered too much fried food...one particularly regrettable dinner of french fries covered in fried eggs and cheese. one of us threw up later. i wished i had too.

we watched flamenco at la carboneria. took romantic friend strolls on the river. and met a friend on a bench who insisted on buying us empanadas.

and then it was wednesday night. it marked one week since we left home, one week in europe without our luggage.

we said our farewells to the picture perfect city, lugged our suitcase ‘big boy’ to the bus station, and got on the dark crowded and un-airconditioned overnight bus to lisbon.

summer's end. and a coconut ice cream pie

this summer, what a mothereffin dreamworld.

now i'm trapped in the september heat wave and people are already talking about pumpkin spice lattes. punch. complaint.

ice cream is absolutely still relevant.

coconut ice cream pie swirled with lime curd. get weird with it.

Coconut Ice Cream Pie

Graham Crust:

7 ounces graham crackers (about 12 full size grahams)

1/4 cup (2 ounces) sugar

6 tbsp (3 ounces) butter, melted

break up crackers and put in food processor. process til fine crumbs. add the sugar pulse a few more times. transfer crumbs to a bowl and pour over melted butter. stir until evenly distributed and the mixture looks wet. the crumbs should hold together when pressed into a clump. 

heat the oven to 350 degreesF. press crumbs into a pie or springform pan. bake for 8-10 minutes, until the crust is dry and it smells amazing. let fully cool. 

make sure ice cream is a softer spreadable consistency, and spread in an even layer in the crust. dollop lime curd (as much or as little as you'd prefer) over ice cream and swirl with a knife into the ice cream. freeze. 

serve as is or top with whipped cream. or blackberry whipped cream. 

coconut ice cream (see recipe here)

Lime Curd:

3 large eggs

3/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup fresh lime juice

2 oz unsalted butter, room temperature

in a heavy bottomed saucepan, combine the eggs and sugar. whisk. then add the lime juice. place pan over medium low heat. cook, stirring or whisking constantly until the mixture starts to thicken. whisk in butter a little chunk at a time. the curd is done when it is thick enough that a spoon leaves a path when dragged through it. remove pan from heat and pass curd through a fine mesh strainer. transfer to airtight container, and press a piece of plastic wrap against the top surface of the curd to prevent a skin from forming. let cool completely in the refrigerator. 

spain

Welcome to Europe! we have lost your bags.

You won't get them tomorrow even though that's what we're telling you.

You won't get them this week either.

And you don't know this now, but you are going to go through the entirety of your 6 week adventure through Europe with NONE OF YOUR STUFF.

and now, i'll try to wrap this whole, long, dragged out, 6-weeks-with-no-stuff saga into a tight little word package.

the Air Berlin workers at the Barcelona airport chose to strike that day.

it came down to wrong airline, wrong day, wrong city to fly into.

so there, standing in the sweltering Barcelona heat with my best friend in my sweater, pants, and combat boots, (..you wear the heaviest things on the plane right?) We couldn't have been less prepared for the trip that we planned for months.

we bought deodorant and toothbrushes + toothpaste. I bought a tshirt.

on the third day we bought a suitcase. and we wheeled around that shared suitcase around for the next 6 weeks, filling it with shit as we went.

it was one of the most ridiculous, stressful, and hilarious things I could have never imagined happening.

with this said, it was a rocky start in Barcelona. we barely took any photos. we took turns having anxiety attacks.

we went to Madrid after 3 days. it got better there because we finally got to shower and wash our two tops.

carrot banana bread

for the hard times

for the easy times, the good times, the boring times, the mornings and the midnights

banana bread is always welcome.

banana bread that's like carrot cake.

sniff. sniff. rabbits

Carrot Banana Bread

adapted from the sisters cafe

2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (can sub 1 cup whole wheat flour)

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cinnamon

pinch of nutmeg

1 cup light brown sugar

3/4 cup oil (canola, sunflower, coconut)

2 eggs

1 cup mashed bananas (3 super ripe bananas)

1 cup grated carrots

preheat oven to 350 degreesF. combine the dry ingredients in a medium bowl - flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg - and whisk to combine very well. in another bowl, combine the bananas, brown sugar, oil, and eggs. dump the dry ingredients into the banana mixture and stir to combine. fold in the grated carrots and dump into a greased 9x5" loaf pan. bake for 45-50 minutes until a toothpick inserted into the middle of the loaf comes out clean. 

hello i'm back.

i was gone, did you know?

no, because i have been a sneak.

i've been gone for 8 weeks, traveling about. its been complete dreamworld.

and now that i've had 3 days to lay around in denial that i am home, to stay in pajamas all day and mope and watch orange is the new black... i might finally be ready to face the music. the blog music.

i have around 2,500 pictures to sort through, i've barely unpacked, my life is in shambles, and i can't button my pants. it was totally worth it.

lemon cornmeal cake with blueberries

i had a dream that joseph stalin was trying to befriend me and i kept running away and making him angrier.

Lemon Cornmeal Cake with Blueberries

from bon appetit april 2009

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/3 cup yellow cornmeal

3/4 cup sugar

3 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup buttermilk

2 large eggs

1 tbsp finely grated lemon peel

3/4 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted and cooled

1 cup blueberries

glaze:

1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted

2 tbsp (or more) fresh lemon juice

preheat oven to 350 degreesF. 

butter a 9 inch cake pan and line with parchment paper. combine flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl and whisk to blend. whisk buttermilk, eggs, lemon zest, and vanilla in a small bowl. pour buttermilk mixture and melted butter into flour mixture. using a rubber spatula, gently fold liquids into flour mixture until just combined. (don't stir!) then fold in blueberries

bake until a tester inserted in the middle of cake comes out clean, about 30 minutes. 

glaze: combine powdered sugar and lemon juice in a small bowl. stir with a spoon until smooth and paste-like, adding more lemon juice by 1/2 teaspoonfuls if glaze is too thick to spread. 

let cake cool in pan for a few minutes, then invert it onto a cooling rack using oven mitts. flip over once more so cake is top side up.  spread glaze over the hot cake. 

marlow & sons shortbread

trefoils.

lorna doon.

those round tins of cookies someone gave your mom during the holidays and their different exciting shapes deceived you into thinking they were different but they were all butter cookies, which in the end was Fine By Me.

in fact. the trefoil was always my favorite girl scout cookie, but for an 8 year old, with the pressures of society and 3rd grade conformism, i would never admit it.

now i am proud to say that i believe the basic shortbread cookie to be one of the most beautiful things on the planet.

it's the very basics of baking - butter. flour. sugar. salt.

what harmony.

there is a lot of over-the-top-ness going on all over these internets. cookies stuffed into cookies stuffed into cake batter. all wrapped up into a cheesecake. on a stick.

i want to barf all over the pinterest screen.

how about we just settle for some big bakery sized squares of crumbly shortbread and call this gross nonsense a phase?

Marlow and Sons Shortbread

from lottie and doof

notes: this recipe will make lots of shortbread. feel free to halve the recipe and bake in just one quarter sheet tray. and bread flour? yes bread flour. 

1 lb (4 sticks) plus 2 tbsp unsalted butter, softened

9 oz light brown sugar

5 oz white sugar

2 eggs, room temperature

1 tbsp pure vanilla extract

1 lb 3 oz king arthur bread flour

1 tsp kosher salt

1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped walnuts

preheat oven to 325 degreesF. 

prepare a half sheet tray, or two quarter sheet trays, by buttering and lining with parchment paper. allow for a two inch overhang on the long sides of the pan to help release the shortbread after baking. 

cream the butter and sugars in a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment until light and fluffy. add eggs and vanilla until combined, then mix in dry ingredients. combine completely. 

divide dough evenly between the prepared sheet trays, spreading smooth and level. sprinkle with granulated sugar and bake until golden brown, about 35-45 minutes. 

let cool completely before cutting into squares with a sharp knife. they will keep well at room temperature for a week. 

strawberry + blackberry cobbler



"the early bird need not pursue the worm when he can order pizza at midnight."

-snoopy



this cobbler is as easy and as delicious as pizza at midnight. really




Strawberry + Blackberry Cobbler

notes: this could be the simplest, most straight forward recipe of all time. and it's so good it doesn't make sense. i swear i was 3 glasses of sangria deep and had everything mixed and dumped together in the oven in 4 minutes. (minus the slicing of the strawberries). I doubled the original recipe to bake it in a 9x13 inch pan, swapped half the blackberries for strawberries, decreased the sugar a tad because the strawberries are so sweet, and threw some poppy seeds into the dry mix. i think next time i'd try adding a bunch more poppy seeds for an even more awesome speckly looking cobbler. either way, it's absurdly good and comforting for these airy summer nights. and vanilla bean ice cream scooped on top is absolutely demanded. 

8 oz (1 cup/2 sticks) unsalted butter 
1 3/4 cups sugar, plus more for sprinkling
2 cups self-rising flour
1/2 tsp salt
a tablespoon or two of poppy seeds
2 cups milk
3 cups strawberries, hulled and sliced
1 cup blackberries

preheat oven to 350 degreesF. melt the butter on the stove or in the microwave. grease a 9x13 inch baking dish. combine the 1 3/4 cups sugar, flour, salt, and poppy seeds in a large bowl. whisk in the milk, mixing well. then pour in the melted butter and whisk it all well together. pour the batter into the baking dish. sprinkle the berries over the top of the batter, distributing evenly. sprinkle a few tablespoons of sugar over the surface. 
bake for about 1 hour 10 minutes, or until golden and bubbly. 
seve warm with lots of ice cream. 

summer lovin!


wedding cake part II: how to make a wedding cake in the forest

i shoved my kitchen aid mixer behind the seat cushioned with a pillow and my backpack. it was thursday morning. ...i wonder if i'll need more parchment..? i should grab a couple more..

he had two guitars. i had two coolers, a  cake stand, a box of tools..2 spatulas, whisk, a double boiler. Ripe nested down by my feet, for some car entertainment.

we had a lot of shit. and a long ride. this was my first wedding cake. I was anxious in anticipation of all the things I had to get done ]

i had deli cups filled with caramel and hazelnut paste, and rounds and rounds of individual frozen and slowly defrosting cake layers, all sandwiched together as snugly and safely as i could arrange.

my plan of cake attack was to assemble the "bodies" of the two cakes when we got there later in the night, and then have them in the freezer overnight.

we got there in the late evening, we unloaded our truckful of junk and explored around the beauty of the place, we ate eggy english muffins and, what do you know, it was 10:30 and i was pondering where to begin.

well. make vanilla bean custard, that needs to get in the fridge cooling asap.

next, figure out how to approach doing this in this little studio kitchen strip.

oh look it's 11:30.

i haven't even started unwrapping and leveling the cakes out when one self-proclaimed 'sous chef' had clearly dropped out.

i chose to take the momofuku route in building the insides of the cake into one drum.

i compiled them in 10 and 8 inch springform pans lined with acetate.

i love this method of building cakes in a perfectly round mold, particularly for cakes with several layers and components. the sides are smooth and it keeps everything tighter. Also.. generous layers when it comes to the fillings. okay?

i finished up around 2 or 3.

i shoved (carefully maneuvered them with caution) them  into the freezer,

and then, to face my messy mini kitchen that i had turned into a warzone. oh yay

i glanced over at joe in enviable disgust.

the next day,

in the afternoon, i took them out of the freezer, peeled the acetate paper off immediately to ensure nice sides and let them thaw a bit. in the meantime make a giant batch of caramel swiss meringue buttercream.

crumb coat on each cake. refrigerator.

then frost each. back in the refrigerator.

oh. what? buttercream? i haven't told you about the frosting. the one to tie everything together. the one that had to pair deliciously with the two (very different) cakes.

i had a few ideas, but the second i made caramel swiss meringue buttercream, the other frosting candidates got kicked to the curb. there truly isn't a cake i can think of that it wouldn't be delicious on.

in essence, you make a swiss meringue buttercream which isn't nearly as intimidating to make as it sounds.

caramel softens in the sun. then caramel gets whipped into the buttercream. it's beautiful.

now. the wedding day. it's a few hours before the ceremony. i shove a bunch of neon straws into the bottom cake, snip them so they are level. i make sure that no one is around me and everything is completely silent. i hold my breath, and stack the one cake on top of the other.

whoa. it worked.

i took out the racks in the mini fridge, and slid the cake in. all that was left to do was put the topper and flowers on it.

YES. sweet success!

then i hit the wine, stuffed my face with chorizo and brie, and hoped the night would never end.

things learned:

1.do the dishes now. not later. apparently there are millions of ants in the forest that will flock to every miniscule crumb and frosting smudge you can't even detect with your eyeballs.

2. i work pretty messy alone when there is no one around to get mad at me for being a mess.

3. flimsy neon straws can work together to achieve great strength

4. salted caramel swiss meringue buttercream > everything

Salted Caramel Swiss Meringue Buttercream

adapted from here and here

10 oz egg whites

10 oz sugar

1/2 tsp kosher salt

the scrapings from 1 vanilla bean or 1 tsp vanilla extract

2 lbs unsalted butter, cut into chunks and softened

8-10 oz caramel

salt

combine the egg whites, sugar, salt, and vanilla bean together in a clean bowl (if using vanilla extract, don't add til the end). set the bowl over a pan of water and turn the heat on medium low. you don't need the water to boil, just hot enough to steam and heat the whites. 

whisk frequently to prevent the whites from cooking. cook until the sugar completely dissolves, and should reach 150 degreesF on a thermometer. (i don't use a thermometer for this, i just touch the whites and rub it between my fingers, if it's still grainy it needs more time, but if it's smooth, the sugar has dissolved and it's ready.)

when the mixture is sufficiently hot, remove from heat and using the whisk attachment of a kitchen aid mixer, whip on medium high speed until the mixture has doubled in volume and turned white. continue whipping until the meringue is cool. feel the bowl, it should not be warm. 

turn the mixer down to medium-low and begin adding the butter, one chunk at a time. scrape down the sides of the bowl on occasion. don't panic if it looks curdled at a point. just keep the mixer running and continue adding the butter chunks and it will emulsify. finally, splash in some vanilla extract if using and drizzle in caramel with the mixer still running. let continue to whip until it's fully incorporated. adjust salt to taste