bills coconut bread

earlier i woke up at 4. my brain was turning and my heart was racing in that anxious way it does. i knew there was no going back to sleep.

it took me back to my bakery mornings, my waking-up-at-3am-is-normal days.

while the nostalgic thoughts always seem to join in, i must say..it is extremely nice to have a break from that. i was cut off from everything those years.

"want to go out to dinner?"   "what time? anytime past 6 is tough for me..."

"we could do something chill like go to a movie, it's at 7." "hmm..no."

being hungover working in a hot kitchen is the worst

...Why did you do that again!? i yell and bitch at myself

do you know what a hangover looks like when its 3am? it looks like still drunk.

hungover poaching pretzels in a large pot of boiling lye water. jesus

i remember when i started i didn't know what lye was. i was told, "remember that scene in fight club when poured on the hand and his hand just started melting fucking off? that was lye. always wear gloves."

ANYWAY. i knew i wasn't gonna sleep. and in what seemed like the quickest and easiest decision i've made in awhile, flipped on the light, put on shoes, and went on a run.

wouldn't it be the best world if you could sleepwalk-excercise? wake up at 7 as usual, and have had already spent 45 minutes on the elliptical.

and you'd also showered before you got back into your bed?

and you ate fried eggs with buttered toast every morning.

yes, it would be the best.

i made coconut bread one evening. and the next morning i sliced it thick and toasted it and ate it with salted butter and had it for breakfast instead of eggs.

and did it again the next morning.

you know the loaves that call themselves bread but are really a soft/lighter/cakey texture? this is not that.

this is coconut Bread, deliciously sweetened. heavier and sturdy. i want it hot and toasty and a little crisp on the edges and able to spread dabs of butter on each little piece i pull off.

bread is for toasting. not cake. i don't want my loaf cake toasted.

i want my cake moiiiist.

the butter amplifies the greatness of bread and the bread amplifies the greatness of butter. i'm not surprised at all that this bread is so famous.

the time i took this picture i was eating it with leftover salty caramel.

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Coconut Bread

from bill granger, recipe posted everywhere

2 eggs

1 1/4 cups whole milk

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 1/2 cups (315g) ap flour

1/4 tsp salt

2 tsp (10g) baking powder

1 tsp cinnamon

1 cup (200g) sugar

5 ounces (140g) sweetened flaked coconut (about 1 1/2 cups)

6 tbsp (85g) unsalted butter, melted and browned

heat oven 350 degreesF. in a small bowl, whisk together eggs, milk, and vanilla. 

in a medium bowl, sift together flour, salt, baking powder, and cinnamon. Add sugar and coconut, and stir to mix. Make a well in the center, and pour in egg mixture, then stir in dry ingredients and mix until just combined. add butter, and stir until just smooth - be careful not to over mix. 

butter and flour a 9x5 inch loaf pan or coat with nonstick spray. spread batter in pan and bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, anywhere from 1 to 1 1/4 hours. Cool in pan for 5 minutes, before turning it out onto a cooling rack. 

serve in thick slices, toasted, with salted butter. yay, all is right in the world before your slice is finished. 

apple hazelnut frangipane tarts

frangipane is essentially nut goo.

nut goo: a nut paste that is enriched with butter, sugar, and eggs. that becomes soft cream to fill in pastries and tarts and things.

frangipane tends to be almond, but goo can be made with any nut really.

these tarts could be the easiest thing to happen to your thanksgiving. and the cutest.

Apple Hazelnut Frangipane Tarts

1 sheet puff pastry, defrosted

a couple apples, fuji or granny smith, peeled, sliced 1/4 inch

sugar, for sprinkling

apricot jam 

for the hazelnut frangipane: i mixed together half a can of hazelnut paste, a beaten egg, 2 tbsp melted butter, a couple tablespoons of sugar, a pinch of salt, and 2 tablespoons of flour. 

preheat oven to 400 degreesF. cut the pastry into 6 rectangles. prick with a fork in the centers. spread on a few dollops of the frangipane down the center of each tart. lay the apple slices along each one. sprinkle sugar over apples. 

bake until puffed and golden. 

press a dollop of apricot jam through a strainer, brush the smooth jam on the apple tarts to give them a pretty glistening look. 

buttermilk chive biscuits + black pepper brown butter

one day out of the week there will be no bacon, and no cheddar.

but there can still be biscuits.

sometimes, i just need the biscuits all to myself.

one of the good parts about making 300 biscuits a day is that making a normal home-sized batch feels like the quickest easiest thing.

biscuit making is all about the method.

mix up dry. cut in butter. fold in just enough buttermilk for a dough to come together.

there is no need for buttermilk measuring.

chive biscuits, plain and simple, a nice change of biscuit pace.

black pepper brown butter is just brown butter stirred with a little honey, salt, and lots of coarse black pepper.

hella good

Buttermilk Chive Biscuits + Black Pepper Brown Butter

adapted from bon appetit

3 cups all-purpose flour

4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

2 tbsp sugar

1 tsp salt

2 tbsp chopped chives

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, cold and cut into cubes

buttermilk, about 1-1 1/4 cups

preheat oven to 400 degreesF. combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar, and salt and mix together well. mix in chives. using one or two bench scrapers, a pastry cutter or your fingertips, cut the butter into the dry mix until it resembles a coarse meal and butter chunks are around the size of a hazelnut. create a well in the center of the dry mix and pour in  buttermilk. stir until dough just comes together and is evenly moistened. either pat into a disk, about 1 1/2 inches tall and stamp out rounds using a biscuit cutter, or simply scoop 1/4 cups of dough onto a baking sheet, spacing 2 inches apart. brush with a little buttermilk and bake until golden brown, about 15 minutes. cool slightly and serve. 

Black Pepper Brown Butter

from

Keys to the Kitchen

by Aida Mollenkamp. do you have this book? you should have this book

1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature

1 tbsp honey

1/2 tsp kosher salt

1 tsp coarsely ground black pepper

melt the butter in a small frying pan over medium heat. cook swirling the pan to ensure it cooks evenly, until the butter turns a nut brown color, about 5 minutes. immediately remove from heat, transfer to a bowl, and stir in the honey, salt, and pepper and set aside to cool to room temperature. 

maple oat scones

if i had a superhuman alter-ego, i think i'd be Maple Syrup Woman. or girl? maple girl, syrup woman?
i don't know, one of those.

maple syrup would be my superhuman fuel. i'd squirt maple syrup in bad people's eyeballs and chuck pancakes at their heads. hard, stale, not delicious pancakes.

i'd add extra maple syrup to nice people's waffles when they weren't looking.

i'd have access to only the strongest maple syrup, the kind that would make robbers stick to floors and walls.

my hair would be slicked back with maple syrup.

oh and my body would also move like spiderman.

if i win the lottery, this cRazy lottery that everyone in california is going nutty over, then i can spend more of my time developing the Maple Syrup Woman's body suit, and building her giant lair in canada.

for now, i'll just stick to admiring the sugar crusted tops of maple bottles,  and pouring it into scones.

these little dudes will warm up your chilly morning, in this slow transition into spring..

whole wheat pastry flour and oats keeps them light and nutty, maple syrup for sweetness, and butter for..butter.
they're a lovely happy medium between indulgent and wholesome.

and the perfect vehicle for that jar of jam you've been saving to open.

i stood at the counter and ate too many to disclose here.

..i mean, i'm obsessed with food and want my dream alter-ego to be maple syrup themed...
obviously i'm going to be immoderate sometimes.

Maple Oat Scones

adapted from 101 cookbooks

~can be made by hand on a work surface or in a bowl, or in a 

food processor. i'll include directions for both~

1/4 cup real, good quality maple syrup

7 tbsp cream, or half and half

2 1/4 cups whole wheat pastry flour

1/2 cup rolled oats

1 1/2 tbsp baking powder

1/2 tsp fine grain sea salt

11 tbsp unsalted butter, cold, cut into chunks

1 egg, lightly beaten

raw sugar for sprinkling

preheat the oven to 400. line a baking sheet with parchment paper. 

whisk together the maple syrup and cream into a small cup and set aside. combine the flour, oats, baking powder, and salt  in a bowl. 

if mixing by hand: dump flour mixture out onto a work surface or into a large bowl. cut in the butter using a pastry cutter, bench scraper, or fork, (i like using a bench scraper!) until the mixture resembles little pebbles in the flour. then add the cream and maple syrup mixture, mixing until the dough just comes together, don't overmix!! if the batter is too dry, add a touch more cream a bit at a time - you want it to just hold together. 

if using a food processor: put the flour mixture in the bowl of food processor fitted with blade. cut butter into the flour mixture, pulsing until it resembles little pebbles in the flour (about 20 quick pulses). now add maple syrup and cream mixture, and pulse until the dough just comes together, don't overdo it! add a bit more cream if the dough is too dry, until it just comes together. 

turn dough onto floured surface, knead once or twice to bring the dough together. to cut out scones, arrange the dough into a 1-inch thick rectangle or circle. trim the edges and slice into nine squares or triangles. for round scones like you see here, scoop rounds of dough with an ice cream scoop or stamp out rounds with a biscuit cutter. 

arrange on baking sheet. brush them generously with the egg wash and sprinkle with raw sugar. 

bake for 20-25 minutes, or until golden on the bottoms and tops. 

bacon jam + eat all the things at mb post

some holiday things to discuss:
1. fried spuds! latke overdose.

2. darling father busting out jager shots at hannukkah dinner.

3. dresses. 
it's a rare day when i wear a dress. not that i don't want to be a dress wearing being. i put that dress on, look in the mirror, look like a fool, and then change back into my go-to pants and loopy scarf. 


BUt but!..i got a dress, a lovely present it is. and dammit i am going to wear this dress. and people are going to call me out on looking girlie and want to pat me on the head.

4. christmas eve dinner at mb post. a kick butt meal. i strongly advise you eat here one fine day. butterscotch roasted carrots! bacon cheddar biscuits with maple butter! spooning truffle honey into my face!

mb post, you do porky things some major justice.

and now i can't seem to get bacon off the brain. i should make something that will allow me to put bacon in everything and on everything.

let's play the game good jew bad jew. tomorrow i will be good jew.

but today, Bacon. Jam.

put it on biscuits and breads. in your healthy bowls of vegetables. on scallops. in your cereal.
put it on really everything.
your toes? alright fine, you fetish weirdo. no judgements in the presence of bacon.

if you want any man to love and appreciate you extra today, present him with a jar of this bacon crack.

here you see it slathered on warm baguette with arugula and slices of pear.

ooh yes. gimme you.
one fingerful of bacon jam and i'm glad to play the role of bad jew for the rest of time.

Bacon Jam

adapted ever so slightly from spoonforkbacon. i think they're blog just totally rocks it. 

1 lb applewood smoked bacon

1 tbsp unsalted butter

1 large onion, thinly sliced

3 tbsp light brown sugar

1 shallot, thinly sliced

2 garlic cloves

1 1/2 tsp smoked paprika

1 tsp ancho chili powder

1/2 tsp ground mustard

1/2 tsp ground ginger

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

3/4 cup sweet bourbon or brandy, i used a little of both

2/3 cup strong brewed coffee

3 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp white wine vinegar

3 tbsp maple syrup

1 tsp adobo sauce, from chipotles in adobo

1 tbsp sriracha

salt and pepper to taste

fry up bacon on medium high heat for 6-8 minutes. remove with slotted spoons and set aside. 

drain all but 1 tbsp bacon fat from the pot, add butter and melt. add onion, brown sugar, and a pinch of salt, and cook for 10 to 15 minutes. add shallot, garlic, and spices and saute for an additional 3-5 minutes. season with pepper. return the bacon to the pot and stir. 

pour the bourbon/brandy into the bacon mixture and cook the liquid down for about 3-4 minutes. 

add the remaining ingredients, reduce heat to medium-low and simmer for around 1 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally. 

remove mixture from heat and allow to cool for 15 to 20 minutes. 

skim off any fat/grease that has formed at the top and discard. pour the mixture into a food processor and process until desired consistency is achieved. 

Bacon Jam and Pear Crostini

toasted baguette slices
bacon jam
arugula
pear, sliced
drizzle of olive oil
sprinkle of sea salt


compile. set on plate. perfect little appetizer. 

honey roasted peanut butter with dark chocolate

peanut butter knives. what a pain.


don't be the person who leaves peanut butter knives in the sink.
cough. boyfriend. they are hard to clean. stop this right now. cough.

i decided to make a peanut butter so scrumptious, knives will be eliminated entirely from the equation.
all we need to know is: jar to spoon to face

say it with me. jar to spoon to face.

maybe i might drop a little on my shirt. maybe i'll have no choice but to lick it off.

if i'm being fancy: honey roasted peanut butter with dark chocolate nibs.
or, call it like it is, we're making chocolate chip peanut butter.

<<and it's wonderful>>

oh my god i can't want to make a pb&j with this.

and dollop onto crusty toast.

AND ladle onto a bowl of oats.

a sweet cuddly breakfast for this cheerful time of year. and it's still pretty good for your bones and brains.
i never want to eat oatmeal without it again.

oh did i mention how easy it is to make? hop to it!

Honey Roasted Peanut Butter with Dark Chocolate

inspired by the edible perspective and her fabulous nut butters

3 cups honey roasted peanuts (recipe below)

1/4 cup dark chocolate, chopped 

place peanuts in a food processor. process until smooth and peanut buttery, about 7 minutes. 

the peanut butter will be warm from all the processing, so wait until it comes to room temperature, then stir in the chocolate. keep in jars at room temperature or in the fridge. 

Honey Roasted Peanuts

(recipe makes 1 lb of peanuts)

1 lb raw peanuts

1/3 cup honey

2 tbsp butter

2 tsp sea salt, divided

pinch of cinnamon

1/4 cup sugar

line a baking sheet with aluminum foil, spray with nonstick spray, and preheat oven to 325. melt butter and honey together over low heat in a saucepan or in the microwave. stir in vanilla, cinnamon, and 1 tsp sea salt. add the honey mixture to the peanuts in a bowl and stir until all the peanuts are coated. pour them onto the prepared baking sheet and spread into an even layer. 

bake for 20 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes or so to ensure even roasting. once they are golden brown, remove from oven and stir again to distribute honey. after a minute, sprinkle the sugar and remaining 1tsp sea salt on top and stir again to coat. cool to room temperature. 

lemon vanilla jam

julia. its 2:30 in the morning. you need to wake up in a couple hours. why can't you just shut your eyeballs and drift off to sleep. 


i don't know, i just can't. 
maybe it's because i can't stop thinking about those amazing heels i just bought and how i definitely probably should not have. woops. 
they were screaming at me. i saw them first thing and then they haunted me all day. 
they needed to be bought. by me. 


but alas, now i cannot stop day-dreaming about them when i should be night-dreaming
I NEED TO BE NIGHT DREAMING

i made this this morning before i spotted the insomnia causing shoes. 


lemon vanilla jam. 
ooooo man. check out this jam. this jam is definitely my jam. 

orange marmalade is kinda getting old. 
<not really. i love orange marmalade>
but still, make this jam. 


bah bah boo bang bah boo. the beats from my jam (session). 
huh? 
it's late. i feel weird. 

do you have lemons? thin skinned ones? 
vanilla bean. check
sugar? cool. 
let's make jam. 

Lemon Vanilla Jam

adapted from Falling Cloudberries. its a beaaautiful book of greek family recipes. 

i'm in cookbook love with it. 

6 thin-skinned lemons

5 1/2 cups sugar

a vanilla bean, splitted lengthwise

wash and slice the lemons finely. get out all the seeds. put them in a big pot with 5 cups of water. bring to a boil and then simmer for 45 minutes to an hour until they're soft. then add sugar and vanilla bean and simmer for another hour. test the consistency by spooning a little into a bowl slide down with a little resistance like jam. spoon into containers. if you aren't canning them up then use the jam within the next week. to vacuum seal, put jars upside down and cover with a dish towel and let completely cool, by then the top should be bubbled out a little and all sealed up. 

eat it with goat cheese. or in little tarts. or on toast with butter. your fingertips. 

grilled brioche with ricotta!...i'm getting ahead of myself.